Friday, September 30, 2011

What We Give Up To Please Ourselves

I often write about how marriage gives us the opportunity to learn to share and to be open to love. I can truly say I learned those things in my marriage. Marriage shaped me and beckoned me to search for ways to be used so that I could share the glory one feels when they are giving out of love.

It never really mattered to me that my husband didn't work because he was such a good house husband. It bothered him, thus we'd have arguments, not because he wasn't working, but because of how he felt about not working.

What I gave up to please myself was the experience of having a partner who shared their finances with the household. I never truly made demands on his income. I took more of the attitude that as long as he didn't have to ask me for money, or take away from the household, I didn't care.

Although, to me, we benefited more by him not working and taking care of the house and our young children; I had to accept that he struggled with his manhood already, and although he was pretty comfortable in the role, at times he felt "less than a man." Like I said in an earlier blog, we get too attached to ideals of who we are, instead of accepting who we are. He was more domestic than I and both of us knew it. We did what was best for our family.

If I must say so, my kids are the better for it. They are some very well-mannered, kind, thoughtful, decent children and their father has a lot to do with it. Yes, I gave up financial security for peace of mind and I would do it again.

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