Thursday, September 8, 2011

I'm Not the Same Girl

One of the biggest hassles in marriage is when one spouse out matures the other. It is a tragedy in so many ways. That is what has happened in our marriage. I was always more mature than my husband. My emotional development was lacking in many areas when I met him. Being the con artist he is, he was able to pick up on my insecurities and use them to his advantage for a long time.

By the time I was in my mid-30's, I had cleared up a lot of my issues, but he was still the same. Now, at almost 50, I am no where near the same girl I used to be. I am not the one for the bullshit and games; and I will not tolerate anything less than what I want at this point in my life.

Although I still love my husband dearly, I am not the same girl. My needs are completely different and my husband cannot meet them. God has freed me from the day-to-day grind of dealing with him. On one hand I can tell he likes not having to be around me, but on the other hand, it is killing him knowing I still love him, but do not want to have anything to do with him. He would much rather I be mad and angry.

In reality, I never really was her. She was who I was until I could get to who I am. I am not the same girl.

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